DEATH

bismillah

well, i think the title says most of what im going to share today. this morning i went to rent a car for my friends. they are going to Aqaba and need someone old enough *cough* to rent a car for them. im not sure about the rules in Jordan, but the man behind the desk at the rent-a-car office said you have to be 21 in order to rent a car. and you can get the license at 19. or 18. im not sure. i dont see any harm in renting them a car [or is there?], so i go ahead and do them the favour. anyway on the way back, my friend told me one of the shop keeper [simsima], which i’m kinda fond of and looks younger than me yet seems more matured is dead.. WHOA! kidding, right? nope. thats why simsima is closed for the past few days. Innalillah. i took some times to digest the news. i had lost a grandfather. i had always heard of people lost their close ones. i heard about death news more than i can remember, i doubt it would decrease in the future. but this death is somehow.. different. maybe this is actually one close death around me. i really, i mean, REALLY didn’t expect death news would be this hard to be accepted [which i still dont].

wow. so this is actually what people means by ‘death is just around the corner’. age doesnt represent how much longer it is left to be spent. maybe it’s my turn tomorrow. maybe it’s my housemate. maybe it’s my family. maybe it’s even you. who know? suddenly i didn’t feel tough anymore. i have always tought as being one that is hard to cry. one that will always takes everything as they are. one that wouldn’t be moved by any sad news. guess i’m still long before i’m familiar with being myself. more to learn. and the time has yet to come.

so death is always be a shocking news after all. hence we heard of deaths in any possible situation. during one doing goodness. maybe he didn’t do it on purpose; maybe he just about to do sin; maybe he always have been doing that.. what about people who died while doing something that we know isn’t good? maybe he has some debts that he hasn’t paid? maybe he have solah that have yet to be done? maybe he just about to ask for forgiveness from God? maybe he just doesn’t really care? oh wow. how would my death looks like? would it be good? would it be before i perform solah? would i end up in heaven? would i have enough blessings from my parents? would i even manage to post this post? i just got one shot to make it right.. how human are weak.. how human are ungrateful..

people always says that we should manage our time wisely. do as much good thing as possible. don’t always postpone what can be done now. death is near. but do they really mean what they say? do WE meant what we said? we work and play games and postpones solah. we set works to be done right before it expires. we feels comfortable doing sin and tought time would always be there for forgiveness. we sleeps and thinks what we would do tomorrow. what if we tought wrong? what if we were destined to die young? what if our last chance to ask for God’s forgiveness is just about to expire? what if..

and with that, i hope somehow i have more encouragement to do more good deeds. to leave all of my wrongdoers. and hope for a peaceful ending. there are too many thing that have to be done. i just hope my heart stays in this path all the way.. all the way through the path of a true muslim.. where death should always be a good news..

wallahu a’lam