friendship.. friend and a ship

bismillah

to be honest, i’m not big on this kind of stuff. most likely because i stayed in the same school from standard 1 until SPM. all the friend i have when i celebrate the final day of SPM is the ones that i start to run around school with when i’m just about to know about life. i make new friends from those that was transferred to my school; and some others that i met from several extra curriculum activities. and thats it. neighbours? i’m being friendly only to those i knew from school. i hang out with them. go swimming with them. have late night snacks with them. them and no others. hence i dont really know how to make new friends until i finished high school [sekolah menengah]..

then i was accepted to continue my study at one of the matriculation centre, KMM. all of my roommates are aliens; make that blockmates. i tried to act natural and to fit in. guess it wasnt too hard making new friends after all. i met 3 from my room. met other 5 from field during sports. then there’s this grouping during orientation and i made some friends from there. later i met another 20+ from my classroom. and there’s one from the squasy court *wink*. and another one from the office while waiting for my mother’s fax. then i was offered to further my study to Jordan. and i met a lot of new friends from there.

and then, comes the hard part. as if a ship went on sailing; sometimes the sea’s calm. sometimes there are hurricanes. sometimes there are rough waves. sometimes there are nothing but only water as far as eye can see. and a sun. friendship aren’t always sweet. making new one is easy. but to keep them fresh and sweet isn’t.

there will be no best friend without qualifying tests. sometimes we see what other people failed to see from our friend. if it’s a good thing, that wont really mater much. but what if it’s bad thing that we see? well, we got choices :-

1. accept him as he is, and just act like we dont know what he lack of

2. accept him as he is, and try our best to correct the flaw we see in him

3. leave him and start making new friends

well, i guess i have to stop now. family day are going to start in half an hour. and i would like to end this post with one saying, “a friend in need is a friend indeed”. read, understand, practice

till then, wassalam

DEATH

bismillah

well, i think the title says most of what im going to share today. this morning i went to rent a car for my friends. they are going to Aqaba and need someone old enough *cough* to rent a car for them. im not sure about the rules in Jordan, but the man behind the desk at the rent-a-car office said you have to be 21 in order to rent a car. and you can get the license at 19. or 18. im not sure. i dont see any harm in renting them a car [or is there?], so i go ahead and do them the favour. anyway on the way back, my friend told me one of the shop keeper [simsima], which i’m kinda fond of and looks younger than me yet seems more matured is dead.. WHOA! kidding, right? nope. thats why simsima is closed for the past few days. Innalillah. i took some times to digest the news. i had lost a grandfather. i had always heard of people lost their close ones. i heard about death news more than i can remember, i doubt it would decrease in the future. but this death is somehow.. different. maybe this is actually one close death around me. i really, i mean, REALLY didn’t expect death news would be this hard to be accepted [which i still dont].

wow. so this is actually what people means by ‘death is just around the corner’. age doesnt represent how much longer it is left to be spent. maybe it’s my turn tomorrow. maybe it’s my housemate. maybe it’s my family. maybe it’s even you. who know? suddenly i didn’t feel tough anymore. i have always tought as being one that is hard to cry. one that will always takes everything as they are. one that wouldn’t be moved by any sad news. guess i’m still long before i’m familiar with being myself. more to learn. and the time has yet to come.

so death is always be a shocking news after all. hence we heard of deaths in any possible situation. during one doing goodness. maybe he didn’t do it on purpose; maybe he just about to do sin; maybe he always have been doing that.. what about people who died while doing something that we know isn’t good? maybe he has some debts that he hasn’t paid? maybe he have solah that have yet to be done? maybe he just about to ask for forgiveness from God? maybe he just doesn’t really care? oh wow. how would my death looks like? would it be good? would it be before i perform solah? would i end up in heaven? would i have enough blessings from my parents? would i even manage to post this post? i just got one shot to make it right.. how human are weak.. how human are ungrateful..

people always says that we should manage our time wisely. do as much good thing as possible. don’t always postpone what can be done now. death is near. but do they really mean what they say? do WE meant what we said? we work and play games and postpones solah. we set works to be done right before it expires. we feels comfortable doing sin and tought time would always be there for forgiveness. we sleeps and thinks what we would do tomorrow. what if we tought wrong? what if we were destined to die young? what if our last chance to ask for God’s forgiveness is just about to expire? what if..

and with that, i hope somehow i have more encouragement to do more good deeds. to leave all of my wrongdoers. and hope for a peaceful ending. there are too many thing that have to be done. i just hope my heart stays in this path all the way.. all the way through the path of a true muslim.. where death should always be a good news..

wallahu a’lam

Fresh Start

bismillah

welcome all to my blog [eventough i’m the only one probably would read this post]. people found question marks from my past (ex-)blog. from my point of view, i see that blog as my experimental trial. and thus from it i gained several critical points in managing a blog. one of the most important thing is to have a vision on what is it that i really want to share in each of my writings. surely every post have their own benefits; hence that is why it is written. one other thing is that blogs actually represent their authors. how they thinks, how they handle things, how they look the world around them, how actually they act in everyday life, sort of.

well, this is what happens when i try to writes everything i think; it becomes a confused paragraph. i just hope nobody have to read them twice.. anyway, i shouldn’t be writing an intro too long, should i? i haven’t write in english for almost 3 years, and i can’t say that i’m good at it in the first place. hence i’ll be glad if anyone would point out whichever mistakes in my writings.

and with kalimah BISMILLAH, i hereby, annouce the new era of my writings. [alhamdulillah; for i still be given this chance to change]

wallahua’lam

p/s-i have to put a large of effort on not to delete what i just wrote, believe me. did i write well?